The invisible intruder…more like an alien invasion!
Meniere's Disease
That is what best describes my latest Meniere’s attack. I
thought I had seen the worst this disease could throw at me, I really did. The
daily manageable pain, the occasional dizzy spells and ground moving, the days
of brain fog and loss of memory. How wrong I was. The last few days have
demonstrated the ferocity and unpredictability of this illness. I am going to
try and put the attack into words…please bear with me as I am still in the
midst of some of the symptoms.
From the beginning of last week, I felt decidedly dodgy –
heavy arms and legs, sickness, occasional room spin, brain fog and absolute
knock out exhaustion. As the week progressed the symptoms became worse and by
Thursday I was lucky to be able to string a full sentence together. By Thursday
evening I had pain in both ears, pain I can only describe as red hot daggers
being stuck in them. The pain killers took the edge off the pain but did not
eradicate it. I lost my hearing, particularly when I was bending down (yes it’s
absolutely true!) and the tinnitus was the loudest it had EVER been. My whole
body felt like a lead weight.
Friday morning I woke up and the pain had spread down from
my ears into the side of my neck and my jaw. This was the worst it had EVER
been. The room was spinning and my whole body resembled a piece of very dense
concrete. I couldn’t function and it scared me. Now, looking back the day is a
bit of a blur. I remember at one point I tried to work and ended up resting my
head on the desk and closing my eyes. Another day of work and life lost.
I came around a bit at night and watched the epic Leeds
Rhino’s performance which honestly did not help my stress levels. There was a
time I enjoyed going and standing on the terraces and being part of the whole
atmosphere. Now it’s too loud and too scary!
Saturday I woke up and my senses of smell and taste were on
overdrive. My hearing, however was a bit like Norman Collier (coming and going –
just in case you don’t know who he is). My memory was shot to pieces and the
lack of concentration meant I couldn’t remember what I had left the room for or
who I was supposed to be ringing when I picked my mobile phone up. After a
couple of hours of fighting, I lost the battle and went to sleep.
Wes and I went to the shop for some fresh air. Soon I
realised I was not okay. The ground was swaying. I had a major sweat on,
fearing I would fall over and hurt myself or even worse, make a complete utter
and total fool of myself. It is so unnerving not being able to hear every
sound. It is like watching the television with mute on. I did my best to
control myself but can honestly say I was terrified and incredibly HOT! Bed was
calling!
Sunday, the tinnitus was loud, the sense of smell was
overbearing but my head felt a little clearer. I ironed, wrote, prepared dinner
and that was it…I was spent. Back to being laid up, nauseous and exhausted.
The pain I can handle but the wasted time, the frustration
of not being able to do the simple things in life, let along write, is what
drives me to distraction. It hurts when I lie down and I can’t stand up. For
what seems an eternity, my life is in limbo. Until this invasion retreats, I
feel totally useless. There is nothing more I can do other than ride it out.
The trouble is very few people understand what this is like and expect you to
continue at 100%, that then puts more pressure on me and prolongs the attacks.
This week is the Labour Party conference in Brighton. I
would have loved to have been there, particularly as it has the feel of the ‘old’
style conference where there was debate and differences. That is what democracy
should be about. If people have a vested interest, they should be able to have
their say. Bravo to Jeremy Corbyn for stopping the apathy rot. Let’s have real
debate about real issues.
Rugby League
So we have had our break – we are back to training on
Tuesday. Well, I say we but Wes is The Nanny
Is coming along slowly but surely. I love this storyline and
the characters are really taking shape. The hardest element of any character is
choosing a suitable name. A bit like when you’re naming your own children. This
time I named all the characters before I started. It is a total distraction introducing
a new character to the script and then pondering on their name. I admit I have
changed a few names a long the way but that is what being creative is all
about.
Beyond the Past
Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0
Well, that is me done this week. Have a safe and happy week.
Please do not take your health for granted. I did until I didn’t have it
anymore.
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