If it’s good enough for Madge, it’s good enough for me…
We all fall down from time to time, I should know my
excuse is not a black cape but Meniere’s. I didn’t see the Brit Awards live, I
was doing my proud Mummy duties in Sheffield for my rising rugby star.
Obviously I heard about it before I got the chance to see it.
It amazes me that some people can actually suggest the
whole incident at the Brit Awards was a publicity stunt – like our Madge needs
anymore publicity – please! The woman is fifty six years old and simply
incredible. I was never really a fan when she burst on the scene in the early
1980s. I was very much into Queen, Dexys Midnight Runners, Soft Cell and Human
League et al. Now I appreciate her as an artist and a woman. Her longevity in
the business is not a fluke, it’s down to sheer hard work and determination to
succeed and that, I can certainly relate to.
If only I had had the courage and support back then in
1982 to pursue writing as my career. BUT, and it’s is a pretty big BUT. I don’t
think I would have written as I write now. Life experience is invaluable and
really adds depth to writing – Sam Smith is testament to that! I also had not
read enough books back in 1982 although one book I read back then did have a
profound effect on my life. On the 29 August 1982 Ingrid Bergman died on her
sixty seventh birthday. I read one of the many biographies that had been
written about the formidable woman. She was inspiring. Unfortunately I didn’t
have the confidence, the belief, the courage or the support to follow my dreams
and I did what most of us do and accepted a life that wasn’t me.
Meniere's Syndrome
Meniere’s changed all that and I am so glad, in a warped
way, it happened to me. This week has been a bad week for me – illness plus Meniere’s
makes for a very frustrating and depressing time. It makes me question what I
am doing and why. I succumb to other peoples' nonsense that I should get a ‘proper’ job and that would end
all my problems along with silencing the nasties. IT WOULDN’T. All it would do is put me back in a situation
where I am forced to take time off for Meniere’s or for the children when they
are sick. It would mean Wes would not be able to be in the academy at
Sheffield. The fact is, unless employers
change their attitude towards unseen illnesses, flexible childcare and working
Mums, working for someone is not a viable option at this time. The bottom line is I don’t want to work for anyone else. Twenty years of lining
someone else’s pockets is enough for me. It might be hard now but to achieve
success we have to make sacrifices. I’m not giving up in spite of outside
pressure to do so. If the haters can’t understand that, then that’s on them not
me. I want to inspire people to not give up and have a go even when it seems
impossible, you can find a way if you want it badly enough. I’m starting with
inspiring my children.
I have some bridges to build this week because my illness
has prevented me from doing things I should have done but I can’t help that. I
have to accept Meniere’s is a debilitating illness that can strike at any time.
I control it the best I can but so many do not or DON’T WANT to understand the
illness. Each time it strikes, I fall… just like Madonna. Each time I recover,
I get back up, dust myself down… just like Madonna. Sadly that is where the
comparison ends!
Giving in to pressure and giving up IS NOT AN OPTION. Don’t
you dare even consider giving up on your dreams!
Writing
Yesterday I sat and wrote 6242 words and typed them up
too. It was the most successful day of writing so far. There’s nothing more
inspiring than a pep talk from your children reminding you why you started and
more importantly why you should continue. Support is double edged and priceless
when it is.
This latest draft is different from the other projects I
am working on. There is an element of mystery in the story but the book is
essentially about how small actions can change many lives in an instant. I am
writing this blog quickly so I can head back to this book, that’s how motivated
I am about this story.
Beyond the Lies
Sorry to all those readers who are eagerly awaiting the
sequel. I wasn’t happy with some of the draft so I am in the process of the
edit. I promise you it will be worth it.
Beyond the Past
Rumour has it Russell Crowe may be interested in buying a
stake in Leeds United. His money would be better spent making Beyond the Past a
film especially as we share a common love for rugby league which provides the
backdrop to the story - #justsaying.
The first three chapters are available FREE on my website
The first three chapters are available FREE on my website
PhD
When I finished my degree I was short listed for PhD
funding. Out of hundreds of applications I got down to the last nine but alas
tripped at the last hurdle – bit like Madonna. Anyway, funding is available
again and I have decided to go for it. It is something very close to my heart
and a personal goal of mine. I am confident I can do this on top of everything
– sleep will be the first to be forfeited!
I look back on last week and being ill didn’t actually
slow me down that much. I need to accept I am not wonder woman, I have two
fabulous boys to guide through life and all the mundane stuff for the house,
finances, etc and I still managed to do all the above. It was also Wes’ birthday this week. Where did seventeen years go? I am super proud of him and the young man he has turned into.
It is time to stop giving myself a hard time and stop listening to the negative people who probably only do a fraction of what I do in a week anyway.
It is time to stop giving myself a hard time and stop listening to the negative people who probably only do a fraction of what I do in a week anyway.
It really doesn’t matter how many times you fall, only the
rising up COUNTS.
RIP Mr Spock
One of the icons of my generation passed away this week.
RIP Leonard Nimoy. You helped inspire a generation of space lovers.
During writing this, I have watched Liverpool FC beat
Manchester City. What a match! Great game, great goals but most of all fabulous
football. It was a HUGE result and gave me goose bumps.
Finally, I want to leave a thought or a plea with you. Just
remember,
Everyone makes mistakes but few own them.
OWN YOUR MISTAKES, YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN.
Have a fabulous week everyone.
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