Don't defend ignorance
No one sees the true struggle of an invisible illness. For a
long time, I literally hid mine, pretended it did not exist. If I forgot
something or couldn't string a sentence together in front of people, I would
simply try to gloss over it. Trouble is, people, especially nasty people, don't
brush over it. They pounce on at as a weakness. They attack you thinking
they've hit a major flaw and they capitalise, exploit it. SHAME ON THEM!
When they do this, you go into defensive mode – it's natural
but unnecessary mechanism. Nevertheless, it is the natural response to nasty
people. When I was personally attacked, I did two things:
- Retreated into myself causing anxiety and depression on top of the anxiety and depression caused by Meniere's.
- Started feeling really negative about Meniere's Disease.
The insecurity caused is
exactly what the bullies want and seek but when you're fighting illness and
pain every day, the last thing you need is more attacks from ignorant, bigoted
people. Then, when I plucked up the courage to fight back, I was accused of
being a sociopath. They made me realise that whatever I did, they would not
change – it was them not me!
This is why I have sympathy
with Diane Abbott. It seems in life, no matter how hard you try, there are
people who will always attack you, always think they are better than you and
that, somehow, they have the right to judge and attack you and should not be
challenged over their nasty behaviour!
1st lesson: they are
WRONG not YOU.
I suppose I was wrong in
denying my illness but that’s absolutely no excuse for nasty, ignorant people.
We do smile and carry on but if you stop due to illness you're demonised as
lazy and scroungers.
2nd lesson: You're
wrong in some people's eyes no matter what you do.
Whilst Meniere's Disease is
a total pain in the backside, I celebrate it as part of me. It's here. It's invaded
but it has not conquered, neither will nasty women who want to put me down
because of their own insecurities. What they don't realise is most people with
invisible illnesses fight every day. They are the strongest people in the
world.
3rd lesson: BE YOU.
It pisses them off if you
pick yourself up and dust yourself down but this is what you do every day,
right? I do, quite literally after drop attacks! If you can live through every
day with pain and illness, you're already a thousand times better than your
doubters.
Let them get on with their
miserable lives and you live yours! At the end of it, you'll be more fulfilled
that they can ever imagine. This month I work on my final dissertation – I will
have a MSc in IT – little old me!! Just remember your 50% contribution is likely to be more than their 100%!!!
Get well soon Diane. We're
all human beings figuring out how to get through life but few, like Diane, give
their whole lives to help others.
PGCE Computer Science
I did it! I'm in. From
September, I am studying a PGCE in Computer Science. It's my time to help young
people reach their full potential.
Writing
After this week's election
rhetoric, the Nanny seems more relevant than ever. I have so much material now,
it looks like I'll be ditching the sleep!
Labour Party
I am super proud of the
manifesto, our leader, Jeremy Corbyn and every member of the party for running
such a positive campaign. This was a dress rehearsal that exceeded all
expectation. Bring on October, when I think, we will be voting again. JOIN LABOUR
– be part of the caring, united UK we
desperately need!
There have been two
elections called by the Tories in two years – both have caused total chaos! May
got her coalition of chaos! Her actions have demonstrated she does NOT care
about this country, only fulfilling her own selfish ambitions. In that respect,
she epitomises the Tories perfectly!
Right, I'm off for my CT
scan in our glorious 24-hour NHS. Let's see what the Docs make of my brain…
medals for them at the ready.
Much love
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