- Retreated into myself causing anxiety and depression on top of the anxiety and depression caused by Meniere's.
- Started feeling really negative about Meniere's Disease.
Saturday, 10 June 2017
No one sees the true struggle of an invisible illness. For a long time, I literally hid mine, pretended it did not exist. If I forgot something or couldn't string a sentence together in front of people, I would simply try to gloss over it. Trouble is, people, especially nasty people, don't brush over it. They pounce on at as a weakness. They attack you thinking they've hit a major flaw and they capitalise, exploit it. SHAME ON THEM!
When they do this, you go into defensive mode – it's natural but unnecessary mechanism. Nevertheless, it is the natural response to nasty people. When I was personally attacked, I did two things:
The insecurity caused is exactly what the bullies want and seek but when you're fighting illness and pain every day, the last thing you need is more attacks from ignorant, bigoted people. Then, when I plucked up the courage to fight back, I was accused of being a sociopath. They made me realise that whatever I did, they would not change – it was them not me!
This is why I have sympathy with Diane Abbott. It seems in life, no matter how hard you try, there are people who will always attack you, always think they are better than you and that, somehow, they have the right to judge and attack you and should not be challenged over their nasty behaviour!
1st lesson: they are WRONG not YOU.
I suppose I was wrong in denying my illness but that’s absolutely no excuse for nasty, ignorant people. We do smile and carry on but if you stop due to illness you're demonised as lazy and scroungers.
2nd lesson: You're wrong in some people's eyes no matter what you do.
Whilst Meniere's Disease is a total pain in the backside, I celebrate it as part of me. It's here. It's invaded but it has not conquered, neither will nasty women who want to put me down because of their own insecurities. What they don't realise is most people with invisible illnesses fight every day. They are the strongest people in the world.
3rd lesson: BE YOU.
It pisses them off if you pick yourself up and dust yourself down but this is what you do every day, right? I do, quite literally after drop attacks! If you can live through every day with pain and illness, you're already a thousand times better than your doubters.
Let them get on with their miserable lives and you live yours! At the end of it, you'll be more fulfilled that they can ever imagine. This month I work on my final dissertation – I will have a MSc in IT – little old me!! Just remember your 50% contribution is likely to be more than their 100%!!!
Get well soon Diane. We're all human beings figuring out how to get through life but few, like Diane, give their whole lives to help others.
PGCE Computer Science
I did it! I'm in. From September, I am studying a PGCE in Computer Science. It's my time to help young people reach their full potential.
After this week's election rhetoric, the Nanny seems more relevant than ever. I have so much material now, it looks like I'll be ditching the sleep!
I am super proud of the manifesto, our leader, Jeremy Corbyn and every member of the party for running such a positive campaign. This was a dress rehearsal that exceeded all expectation. Bring on October, when I think, we will be voting again. JOIN LABOUR
– be part of the caring, united UK we desperately need!
There have been two elections called by the Tories in two years – both have caused total chaos! May got her coalition of chaos! Her actions have demonstrated she does NOT care about this country, only fulfilling her own selfish ambitions. In that respect, she epitomises the Tories perfectly!
Right, I'm off for my CT scan in our glorious 24-hour NHS. Let's see what the Docs make of my brain… medals for them at the ready.
Friday, 2 June 2017
Yesterday was my birthday. I am one year younger than Sgt Peppers! It was an extraordinary day which started with waking up to two unexpected emails. The first was from a publishing company wanting to have a look at Beyond the Lies and another from a production company advising they would like to take a look at Streetwise. Both on the same day! On my birthday! If I’m honest I had to check they were legit! They are.
At 11am I had a Master’s presentation that went really well.
When I returned home I was lavished with love and gifts from the boys. What makes this year so special is they have done it all themselves. I have never felt so loved and appreciated. I am so, so blessed.
Only Trump tainted the day with his ridiculous, narcissistic withdrawal from the Paris climate agreement – there is always one!
We have one week to go to the General Election in the UK. To say I am proud of the Labour Party under Jeremy Corbyn would be the under-statement of the year! As much as I wanted to be on the doorstep, the drop attack has scared me so I’ve been frantically doing all I can to promote and sell the policies in other ways. Sometimes you have no choice but to listen to your body. I have a CT scan this next week. Hopefully it will give us an idea of what is going on in my head – and that is a very scary thought!
I’ve even had to cancel our weekend to Liverpool for the Sgt Pepper’s 50th anniversary celebrations. I am truly gutted and frustrated!
Today I listened to Labour’s industrial strategy covering small businesses, climate change, sustainability and research and development. It is very exciting, transformative, innovative and inspirational. We finally have a party who will consult with a wide range of people and LISTEN. I make no apologies for backing a party that gives mine and everyone’s children a brighter future. Isn’t what we all want?
The manifesto is well worth a read and can be found here - Manifesto. Please judge for yourself.
Getting interest from a publisher and production company has reinvigorated my desire to continue to write. Now I am cracking on with the Nanny and my Master’s dissertation. I do have a 500 words essay to write on why I want to teach Computer Science for my interview next Thursday. I may have Meniere’s but it will NOT stop me from living a full life.
Well, that is me for now. We were going to have barbecue but the British weather has temporarily halted this until tomorrow afternoon. Have a fabulous, safe and happy weekend.