Saturday, 27 December 2014

Lessons learned in 2014



Why would I want a house owned by the mortgage company, cars leased and never owned and a miserable, boring life where my only income is as a result of someone else's hard work? That's why some people are so bitter and twisted because they are stuck! They are unfulfilled. I speak from bitter experience. Just to clarify this was the life I left behind when I lost my job AFTER being diagnosed with Menieres and had to rely on support from others. I hated being dependent on other people. It has taken a lot of soul searching to find my new way in life and accept that what I lost was lost for a reason.

That's the main lesson I have learned in 2014. I don't need material things or the wrong people in my life. I'm now making my own choices and my own life again AND teaching my children the real values of life. I may not have LOTS of material things and designer clothes but I have REAL values, fabulous children and peace of mind. Money can't buy them.


These are my lessons of 2014 :



1.      Never underestimate the bitterness of some people –  
         driven through ignorance and  jealousy.
2.      The positive motivation from the bitterness of some 
         people is a powerful driving force to succeed.
3.      Some adults are prepared to go to any lengths to stop 
         CHILDREN from succeeding in their chosen field.
4.      The positive motivation and solidarity of a family is 
         more powerful than the lengths people go to, to stop 
         a child from succeeding. It taught my teenager a very 
         valuable lesson in life.
5.      There is an awful lot of adults that are so negative, 
         bordering on nasty with no real justification.
6.      The power of love and kindness is stronger than any 
         negativity from adults.
7.      Some adults never outgrow High School behaviour.
8.      Self-development and improvement is vital for a 
         fulfilled life. Don’t let other people’s failure to grow
         prevent you from blooming.
9.      Never underestimate the power you hold to influence 
         and improve the quality of thinking and 
         understanding on future generations.
10.    MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT THIS YEAR – is not the 
        book being published, not the power of 
        understanding my own life and mind, BUT to see my 
        teenager develop into a well-grounded,    
        compassionate, clued up and motivated young man. 
        JOB PART DONE!

Some things I could have done better, some things I will change for 2015 but overall I made a start. I smiled a lot this year at other people's attempts to stop us from achieving our goals whereas previously IT would have derailed us.


It has been an extraordinary year for us. My first EVER book published, independence, both boys doing really well, Wes gaining solid GCSE’s and earning his Academy place. I am bursting with pride but I know I am a work in progress. It may take a few more years for us to be self-sufficient but I have set my goals & I am on target. NO one can stop you if you really want it & are prepared to work for it. 2015 looks very bright and very exciting. I don’t think I have ever looked forward so much to a new year as I am now AND 2014 has been truly uplifting and empowering. I will always look back on this year as the year I took control of my life and saw my children grow more in one year than any other year. I DID THAT!! We are not that special, we just know what we want and we are prepared to work for it. You can do it too x



In 2015 the inquests may come to an end. I want to send all my love to the victims, families and everyone who was involved in Hillsborough. Anne Williams taught me how to stand up and be counted and that lesson has been priceless, no more so than this year. God bless to you all. Justice is coming...




Have you set your goals for 2015? Do it now NOT as a New Year resolution xx

I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and the very best wishes from all my family to you all in 2015.  Let’s all work together to make the world a happier, tolerant and peaceful place.


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 

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Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Merry Christmas




to all my family, friends - old and new - for your fabulous support this year. You have been amazing. Thank you my two boys for making my job so easy and for all your hard work this year. You are both truly inspirational.

I wish everyone peace, happiness, success and hope.



Looking forward to 2015.


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 

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Saturday, 20 December 2014

Peace on Earth… it’s in our hands, isn’t it?




Let’s be perfectly frank and honest here… this week has shown the worst of the world. No one, NOT ONE HUMAN BEING, can EVER justify the killing of an innocent child - or adult for that matter. My broken heart genuinely goes out to everyone affected by the atrocities in Australia and Pakistan. If any good can come out of these horrific events, it should be we all spend time with our children showing them how to become tolerant, dignified, decent human beings. There is too much hatred in this world.

What is wrong with everything? Is peace just too much to expect or wish for?

I don’t know about you but my general feeling of the world at this moment in time is, there are a lot of angry, selfish, nasty people about. You know the ones, they come in different degrees of nastiness and vindictiveness yet seem to be the ones that are too cowardly to actually stand up and be counted in a positive way. Acts of terrorism and sheer brutality grab the media attention but when Wes asked me this week what was wrong with people , after witnessing girls being horrible at his school, it highlighted that it is not just me that is getting really fed up of the degree of hatred and nastiness out there.

Another example was in an author’s forum this week which was discussing bad reviews and one in particular had upset an author, not because their work was criticised per se but the manner in which it was done. Constructive criticism is accepted from anyone who puts themselves out there. Unfortunately there is an alarming and current trend of terrible, abusive and quite frankly unacceptable comments that the keyboard coward (not warrior – warriors are courageous and fight for what they believe in) feels justified in writing online but undoubtedly would not say to the recipient’s face. I find it repulsive as I do when I read comments like ‘I pay for my season ticket, so that entitles me to say what I like to the players.’ OH NO IT DOESN’T! There is no excuse or justification for abuse, online or otherwise.

I know I keep harping back to this but it is about dignity, integrity and common decency. You can be honest without being abusive – may be this is a lesson that has skipped a few generations. The power of the word is even more potent now. Used constructively it is a gift. Used abusively, it is a dagger much more deadly than any made with steel! If I don’t like something that I know someone has put their heart and soul in, I would rather not leave a comment than leave something that would rock their confidence. I have received so much criticism and been labelled a ‘sociopath’ because I believe in giving out praise and positive comments. I guess that’s just me. I have compassion and decency for anyone who is willing to have a go.

Abusers are uneducated and unfulfilled. It is so easy to sit in judgement of anyone that is having a go at forging a life for themselves. A word of warning though – YOUR WORDS won’t stop them succeeding. You may wound them but the hurt recedes. Success comes from being driven, determined and persistent.

I have spent the first forty (plus) years of my life wanting validation, wanting people to love me and accepting ‘false’ love from people I should never have let into my life. Now, I have found my inner peace. I don’t need anyone to accept me for who I am. I don’t need anyone to validate what I am doing and what I am trying to achieve. I look at the boys and how they are all round, grounded individuals and how they are more clued up than most adults and that is my validation of being on this earth! I am happier than now I have ever been and I really don’t get upset anymore at someone else’s opinions – as I wrote last week we all have our own perceptions on life. 

This world would be a much better place if everyone was taught how to tolerate each other’s differences and I live in hope we can achieve that, if we ALL want it badly enough but we have to stand up and be counted. Imagine what we could all achieve if all of us good hearted, warm, talented, tolerant people joined forces and stopped evil from being dominant!

On a more individual level, just remember – it is not what you say, it is how you say it. If we all make that extra special effort to be nice rather than mean and cutting, we can start to make a real difference to the world.

For me, if you don’t like what I am doing, move on.  You are not being forced to read any of my work, my blog or my social media timeline. Leave me in peace and instead of being wound up by my achievements, get yourself out there and make a positive difference. 

To all my fellow human beings trying to make a difference – keep doing what you are doing. You are all forging your own life in your own way and hopefully improving yours and other people’s lives in the process. Maybe, we can all contribute to eradicate the world of misery and evil and bring PEACE.

As I approach maturity (don’t laugh!) I realise what this time of year has become and I don’t like what I see. Christmas as a child is so innocent and magical. As soon as you become an adult, it’s about shopping, presents, food, expense and it is NOT pretty and SO stressful. Christmas has had a total revamp in this household. I sat down with the boys and explained how I felt about the commercial side and the pressure put on us for one day. To my surprise (or maybe not) the boys agreed. So we restricted what we spent, what we bought and what food we have in the house. None of us will be over indulging. Our Christmas this year will be enjoying each other’s company and relaxing. There will be lots of pyjama days and lots of games – playing cards, board games and Xbox games – although I am rubbish at the latter! That is my inner peace. Knowing we have each other and we enjoy being a family.

I want to wish everyone a very special Christmas and a wonderfully exciting 2015. If you are thinking of starting something new – STOP THINKING, GO FOR IT. New Year, new opportunities.


For me, 2015 means writing my third book and learning how to use Final Draft so I can write screenplays and continuing to support the boys in their dreams. I am living MY dream. Thank you to everyone who has supported me this year. Let’s hope we can all find peace in 2015.


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 

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Sunday, 14 December 2014

You can’t please everyone all of the time…




Do you know why I love books so much? Because each one of us can read the same book and come out the end of it with a very different perception, opinion and experience. And why do you think that is? I think it is because of our own perception of life, our experience and our outlook on life itself. That’s my own personal opinion. Let me know what you think.

It is like life really and I have written about this a few times now – how our experiences in life can give us a ‘slant’, opinion or perception of life issues. I absolutely know I am a different person than I was twelve months ago. I am much tougher now and I think I understand life more. I am totally amazed how many adults do not understand the difference between being truthful and being abusive. I suppose it comes down to the contents of my blog a couple of weeks ago – integrity, dignity and common decency. You can throw poor education into the mix too. 

It’s great to see that Twitter have improved their blocking service this week, giving us all peace of mind whilst we are online.Caio #Twittertrolls

Menieres - #TreeSelfie


This week has been a bit of a nightmare because of the pressure the stormy weather puts on my ears. Challenging! I always know when I am about to have an episode. My head becomes really fuzzy and even the simple tasks become difficult. I forget what I am doing and find it hard to concentrate. This usually lasts a day but this week I had three days of it. After the fuzziness, comes the dizziness. I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I have only ever fallen over once and that was pre diagnosis. I take extra care during this period but it is very unnerving. My confidence slips to an all time low and then I get really frustrated with myself, start wondering why I am even bothering! But I do because I don't want to give in to IT and I want the boys to see that, even in adversity, you can be strong enough to overcome anything.  Luckily the 'dizzy day' was yesterday (Saturday) so I stayed in with the boys. All in all I have done pretty well this week, only physically losing two hours because I had to lay down. The rest of the time I have muddled through and managed to get some work done. 

I know my condition is getting worse. I am waiting for another hearing test. Whatever the prognosis, I could be in a lot worse a position. 

The Menieres Society’s facebook page has kept me entertained during this time. Reading other peoples’ experiences and life stories has helped. In addition, the society has launched an awareness campaign, the #TreeSelfie:



This is my #TreeSelfie – I hate selfies. I blame the short arms !! (That’s my excuse anyway).





Your support would be amazing. If you also tag me on social media and will share and RT your posts.




 

Writing


I was asked this week if I have made any mistakes in writing.  The answer is categorically YES.  BUT isn’t it better to make mistakes than not try at all? I certainly think it is. I also know that, thanks to lots of fellow authors and lots of other inspiring people, I am developing as an author each time I lift up my pen. Like with any new profession, you are going to make mistakes but you learn from them. Looking back, I would have done things differently but I didn’t know then what I know now. That’s life, isn’t it? 

The best decision I have made is to connect with other authors through social media and other Menieres sufferers too. Both sets of people have really helped me to develop and understand my new career path and my life. Very often you feel alone and when people are permanently beating you with a proverbial stick, you start to doubt yourself. It is only natural. However, it is much easier to continue on your chosen path if you know there are other people going through exactly the same process as yourself. Their words of wisdom and encouragement are priceless. They have taught me that you will receive criticism, some justified, some not so but don’t let it stop you from achieving your dreams. You will know which criticism is given for the right reasons and which has ulterior motives. I have learned to turn negativity into positive energy - to be better, bolder and braver. I’m really proud the boys have caught onto this too and it will help them through their lives. Don’t shy away from criticism, embrace it. 

I have decided to give myself a break this year. I will be doing some writing but from the 19th December until the New Year I am going to spend time relaxing with the boys. We have been through so much this year and literally haven’t stopped. It’s a good time to chill and recharge my batteries ready for the onslaught of 2015. 

Have a great week everyone. I am looking forward to the schools breaking up on Friday and the church service Friday morning. Stay safe everyone x

The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 

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