Monday, 27 February 2017

Nineteen years a Mum… and two friends for life

Nineteen years ago today at 4.15am I became a Mum for the first time.  I am amazed how well Wes turned out, I am even more amazed we survived! Thankfully, I followed my own beliefs on how to be a good mother with the help of some momentous Mum’s along the way, showing me that fighting for your children should always be of paramount importance in your life. I have Annie Williams to thank for that.

Wes has turned into a fine young gentleman with his own mind and a fantastic role model for his brother, who idolises him.

It has not been easy raising boys on my own. Like all parents, you wonder whether you have made the right decisions, given them the tools to survive in such a mean world. They have been brought up on socialist principles and that can be a very lonely world in this day and age. Still, Wes has formed his own opinions, his own thinking and is not afraid to stick his head above the parapet and shout against injustice and lies. THAT’S MY BOY! The young boy who loves his sport, loves his family and grabs life by the balls and does it his way. I could not be prouder.  As someone once said to me, he is ready for life as an adult. I am looking forward to our family meal this evening.

It's been a mixed bag of emotions this last week. Life as a socialist is an uphill struggle and it has been since I was fifteen! Even Wes came home from his politics class last week and said he was the only one with his views – that means he is doing something right as questioning the ‘norm’ is very important. It really winds me up when people moan about protests and other people exercising their democratic rights. Sadly, with our politicians being so consumed by Capitalism, protests and questioning are our only available actions.

I do despair that people deride socialism when really it is about looking after everyone in our society – I think that is very British personally. If socialism brings us social housing, good schools, a good NHS, infrastructure, decent jobs for our young people and a sense of community again – why are we not supporting it? The media are in overdrive since the by-elections but please don’t be fooled. They are after Jeremy Corbyn because he threatens their strangle hold. They want to label him unelectable because they don’t want him to break up their monopolies and make them pay tax in the UK. Instead of believing all their lies, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE understand why they tell their lies.

Meniere’s has taught me that any one of us at any point of our lives can be struck down and need help. Unfortunately, the help will not be there for you, as I found to my detriment. I had a very good job, company car, private health, savings. I paid all my taxes and national insurance. We had a good life and as a single parent it was great. When I lost my job through the illness, I lost all that and believe me, the savings don’t last long. I have been at rock bottom but am slowly crawling out of it. I have always been self- sufficient and these ten years have been hell. Throughout it all the boys have fully supported me and encouraged me. I am truly blessed and grateful but I never take for granted how lucky I have been to work my way out of the mess Meniere’s put me into.

We are still not there yet… every day is a struggle but it is an even bigger struggle for millions more people in this country. Whilst people may stand by and ignore that… we won’t. We will continue our fight as a family and as individuals, the world can be a much better place for ALL not just ‘me’.


I have been working so hard at my Masters. I love the work and it inspires me to keep going even in the darkest days of pain and vertigo. I have finally decided on the title and subject of my dissertation.

"An agile governance framework for the development of the ICT curricula in secondary schools to ensure sustainability, adaptability and flexibility."

I may not be able to join people on the doorsteps or leaflet but I sure as hell can use my talents to try and change the world! This topic is radical and will look at changing how ICT teaching and learning is delivered in secondary schools, hopefully making the subject interesting and engaging. The gloves are off… THIS GIRL CAN! AND WILL!

Okay, I am off to write another chapter of my new work. I will love you and leave you…

Stay safe and get motivated!

Much love

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Doris did it!

5.30AM… awake with pain in my ears, down my neck and in my jaw. Great! I should have expected it but still live in hope I am miraculously cured! Sadly not…wishful thinking. 

Stormy weather is a complete nightmare - storm Doris did it. I've managed to last three to four months with very few symptoms and those that I have had, I managed well with. The Meniere's machine has infiltrated me again! The sickness, the pain in my ears but the worst feeling in the world is the brain fog! The overwhelming feeling of not knowing what you are doing or even trying to remember what you are doing! 

Today I wanted to work on my Masters papers and dissertation. It's useless! I can't think, I may just sleep… reading, writing, watching films are pointless – the words jump around the page, the ideas bouncing around my head and my concentration is non-existent! It's a rollercoaster of pain, anxiety, frustration… and sickness! Then when the episode passes, I have to rebuild my confidence and continue with everyday life...

Trying to type with my eyes shut… it's a gift!

It will pass… Doris needs to do one…quickly… I'm way too busy and motivated to be ill!!

To my fellow Meniere's sufferers… hang on in there.

Have a fun day and stay safe

Thursday, 16 February 2017


First, they attack you – put you down and ridicule you… then they follow in your footsteps. That’s why I love doing what I do and why I do this blog. Even the people that read to criticise or those total cynics can’t help but be empowered to make positive changes. Good on them! It does not matter what it is… as long as you do it with passion and it gets you motivated.
Last week, we encountered our wonderful NHS. Wes split his finger in the gym due to some lazy, inconsiderate numpty being irresponsible with the weights. We (all three of us) spent six hours at St James then had to transfer to the LGI for five hours to see a plastic surgeon, who was totally and utterly amazing. Out of adversity, comes positivity. The night made me realise just how close the boys are, despite the eight years’ age difference and how wonderful ALL the staff are at our over stretched hospitals. I am in awe of their dedication, resilience and professionalism. Thankfully, the stitches are out now and he is well on the way to recovery.
There are not enough hours in the day. I am writing part time while I finish my Masters. Semester Two has just started (well, three weeks in). I now have Masters and PhD research proposals to do and three Masters papers. I am a busy bee! I always feel overwhelmed at the start of each semester… like ten feet of snow has dropped on my head. I will shovel my way out of it and work hard. I’m aiming for a distinction across the board… so far… so good.
The writing is coming along too…

Beyond the Past

Have you had the chance to read it yet?

Would you like to review it for me?

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website

Available from:  Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK


Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0


The Nanny

I am getting my life back on track. My Meniere’s symptoms are less than they have ever been and that can be attributed to me taking control and eliminating everything and everyone from my life that caused anxiety and stress. I feel so empowered and am really loving life. Our house has a calm feel to it. Lucas told me this week how happy he is at home… that’ll do for me.

2017 is looking very promising indeed…

Right, I’m off to continue writing… keep the faith and follow your dreams… they are yours… no one else’s.

Much love

Monday, 6 February 2017

It IS YOUR journey...

The older I get, the more I realise people’s spiteful criticisms and behaviour are not down to you but very much a flaw in their personality and in many ways, due to lack of empathy, knowledge and education in the very thing they are criticising. I have also learned not everyone who takes an interest in what you do, does so out of genuine interest – more out of finding something to criticise you over. That is okay because… guess what? It is not up to you to fill their knowledge gap or take responsibility for their education.

People don’t have to understand YOUR journey. Quite frankly, it is none of their business. If they choose to spend their time looking for flaws, let them. It is their time they are wasting, not yours. We are not on this earth long enough to waste our time. I learned that the hard way when I was struck by Meniere’s. I wasted too much of my life trying to make other people happy, worrying about what they thought and generally putting emphasis on other peoples’ lives instead of my own. Boy I have made mistakes but they were my mistakes! I own them, hate them but have learned from them!

I have a greater peace of mind now than I have ever had. This is my own journey and I know where I want to go and what I want to be. This is MY journey…  if I succeed, it is my boys and my success and if I fail, it is my failure. It still astounds me to hear people willing others to fail. Such a negative approach to life will never lead to success… only more misery.

January 2017, putting aside the crazy world events, has been the best start to the year for us, probably for a decade! We don’t have all the answers but we have our lives, here and now, sussed. We have learned to make the most of what we have NOW. Yes, it is not perfect, yes, I worry about money BUT my children are happy with their lives and I am too. I wake up with purpose and levels of energy, I have not had before.

I can’t do any more than I am doing right now – writing, Master’s study, bringing the boys up, handling Meniere’s and coping with day to day living. I can hold my head up high and say I am doing my best and there is light…finally. Question is… can you? If you can’t – you are the only one who can change that. GO FOR IT.


After feedback from a film production company who advised me this was more for television, I submitted the script to the BBC through their drama room. For those who don’t know it, the BBC has several submission windows throughout the year to help new writers. They are only open for one month. They received nearly 4,000 entrants this year and whilst I know it is a shot in the dark, the answer would have been a absolute "NO" if I had not taken myself out of my comfort zone and submitted it.

My advice to anyone – give it a go. I will let you know the feedback I get which is probably around May time. Thankfully I have lots of Masters work to do to pass the time!

The Nanny

I know I’ve mentioned this for a long time but I am still working on this. It is a big project for me and I want to get it right. The film production company liked my style and would like to see further work so this would be perfect. Lots of action and suspense!

I have several other projects that are in the very early stages and will let you into them when I’ve worked them out fully.

Right, I’m off to research Green Information Technology… riveting. Don’t wait for approval to change your own life – enjoy what you have and strive for what is right for you.

Have a safe and fabulous week.

Much love