Saturday 22 November 2014

Always look at the brightside of life... even when it seems impossible



An insight into how my mind works. I was on the school run this week and passed an alleyway that was closed recently due to a dispute that resulted in a stabbing. Driving along, I started thinking what would you do if you inadvertently got caught up a crime that had absolutely nothing to do with you? Now I have three characters, a setting and a new novel outline. Who says the school runs are a waste of time!!



Menieres 


When I was diagnosed with Menieres in 2007 I was told it would become progressively worse. For the last seven years, it has been bearable but the episodes have been becoming more frequent and more severe. The dizziness I can cope with as it only occurs when I look up to the skies and lay down, two activities I do not do very often! This last month has been truly horrendous. The buzzing in my ears is so loud some days I find it hard to hear anything else and the pain has become unbearable at times too. In fact, some days I have used all my energy just to carry out day to day functions such as getting out of bed and maintaining a ‘normal’ routine for the kids. The pain makes me impatient, miserable and very tired.

It is not the physical symptoms that really bother me though. I am used to pain and can work through that. What bothers me is the frustration, the feeling of overwhelming uselessness and the loss of confidence. The latter is particularly difficult. I am afraid I can’t hear what people are saying to me and then I am afraid I will give them the wrong reply or appear rude and ignorant. That probably sounds totally stupid but it is true. I finally decided to go seek help and have been referred for a hearing test. It was so reassuring to have a doctor who was sympathetic and understood what I was saying. There was no strange looks or fobbing me off like before.

The trouble is when you are feeling so unwell, even little obstacles feel like mountains to climb. On Monday my car developed a fault – the spring had broken. Everything in our lives revolves around us having transport – both boys go to village schools, Wes’ academy place, Lucas’ football and that’s before we get to the day to day functioning as a family. The broken spring was a catalyst for me uncoiling – quite literally. I broke down in floods of tears. It is not the boys’ fault I have this horrible illness and I don’t want their quality of life to suffer as a result of an illness lots of people, including myself, don’t understand. Monday was a bad day, the worst I have ever had and there were times on Monday I thought I couldn’t do it anymore. People just don’t understand!!

The car was back on Monday night but is still not right. Tuesday I woke up and was determined I was going to beat this and crack on with my plans for world domination! I wrote down everything I needed to do (memory loss is a part of trying to control pain). I dropped the boys at school and had a plan of action. Why I plan anything, I really don’t know. Wes rang me at 9.30 to say he was being sent home from school because of incorrect footwear, the same footwear that had passed an inspection the day before. That one phone call, hearing Wes upset that he would miss a day’s lessons just sent me over the edge. IN A GOOD WAY. It made me realise these boys need me. I went into school and constructively confronted the teachers. I eventually got to see the head of 6th form and put our case to them. We made a brilliant team and I was so so proud of how Wes handled himself, so grown up and reasonable.

The result of that meeting was he was allowed to return to his lessons and the dress code has been changed to accommodate our sensible approach. More importantly, the student’s learning will no longer be interrupted by needless exclusions. I couldn’t be happier.

After that, my head returned from the dark place it was in. A couple of years ago I reached the last nine candidates for funding for a Phd but I didn’t get it. I started thinking I wanted to try again. This time I wouldn’t look for a Phd to fit into but would come up with my own study plan and then start looking for funding. Another dream could be fulfilled if I work hard and try. So I am going to try. I already have a subject and have started reading around the subject. At the moment I am only planning and thinking but it is doable and I can still continue to write fiction.  If I get funding I can still support Wes’ dream and do something that will benefit us all in the future. It seems a sensible win win to me.  Watch this space….


My lesson this week – life is what it is at the moment in time. Giving up is not an option so working out what will work within my limitations is my priority NOW and that challenge is exciting.


Beyond the Past


Sales are okay but not as well as I expected but I will keep plugging away. Now the sequel is written, Beyond the Lies, I need to get it edited and submitted. Once that is completed, I plan to work on making them both screenplays. When the publishers first read the manuscript of Beyond the Past, I was advised it would make a good television programme and that they would help me with that. Unfortunately I have now been told the production companies will only look at scripts. So guess what? I don’t take no for an answer anymore. I believe they will make great TV shows or even a movie and you know me by now, if it’s possible I am going to have a bash at it! One step at a time!

UK Blog Awards


I am so overwhelmed by your support for my writing and my blog. As a writer you do want validation for your work and right now you have given me that in abundance. Thank you because it inspires me to work harder and become a master of my craft.


The blog is entered into two categories:

http://www.blogawardsuk.co.uk/candidates/Living-the-Dream



Arts & Culture Vote Now

Lifestyle Vote Now







When you have voted you will receive an email confirmation. Please, please vote. It would mean so much to me.

Rugby League Academy


It is so exciting to be able to help Wes follow his dream to become a rugby league player. Pre-season training has started and he is buzzing. It is what he expected and much, much more. Seeing him so excited and motivated makes me very proud. He gives 100% in every session and I know that because he stinks on the journey home!!





Mr Fluffington and his Feathers


Lucas is working hard on his book project and it is great to see him channelling his imagination into a book. A chip off the old block - maybe. A bright, young, spirited child – definitely.

You see, we have so much to look forward to and so much to work hard for. The illness, twittertrolls, bullies and prejudice are insignificant in comparison to our achievements and aspirations this year and in the future.

You can beat the odds and be what you want to be if you have the drive and determination to succeed. I choose to live this life!! If I ever won the lottery we would still live this life albeit with a new car and money to support our dreams and aspirations.

It's okay to be different -

Be awesome




The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 

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Lots of love 



Sunday 16 November 2014

Tough Times… but still determined



Well I have to confess this week has been incredibly challenging. It’s not that we had any major disasters but lots of little frustrating matters that made me have a few Mario Balloteli moments – “why always me!” You know one of those weeks when you question why you are even bothering because everything you touch seems to lead in you taking a further ten steps backwards!! Lucas was in pain from his burns, the printer decided that it wasn’t going to work anymore, the iron kept stopping working and I would have been happy if my ears had exploded! I desperately need some money coming in and the financial pressure is tough to bear. It makes it worse when you are on your own because you have no one to moan to, or is it at? But do you know what? That’s life. I could give up, get jobseekers and look for a ‘normal’ job but then Wes would have to give up his dream in the academy and Lucas would not be able to go to the village school he loves. I am working incredibly hard and I know that you can’t do that without the rewards soon following. No matter how tough it gets I am determined to keep going. I have come so far and I know success is just around the corner. Failure or giving up are not options and no matter how frustrating it is at the moment, once the break finally comes I will know I did it and did it from the depths of despair.
So now I have that off my chest and have some great news….

I HAVE FINISHED THE FIRST DRAFT OF BEYOND THE LIES. 


At last I hear you all cry. I know it has taken me a while but I wanted to be happy with it. And I am, well I am now. I finished it on Wednesday evening but there was something nagging at me. Something that was missing. Scrubbing the floor (yes! I hate housework!) on Saturday, the missing piece came to me. Now I have the pleasure of editing. For my first two books, I have kept the original draft with no amendments. One day they may worth something (Okay there is a tinge of Yorkshire sarcasm in that).

I wrote Beyond the Past with no plan, no pre-conceived ideas or an outcome. The only two things I was certain of was the main character would be named Annie and rugby league would  be featured. In fact, I never intended to write a mystery/thriller/crime book. It just worked out that way. It's funny what fate decides.


I decided before I got onto my next novel, I would sort the house out, sort Christmas and build my admin business up. After less than a week though I am itching to start writing again. I have ten outlines for novels which is a really strong position to be in. I just need to keep going, oh and decide which storyline to choose. This is definitely what I would like to do for the rest of my life. 

UK BLOG AWARDS 


Thank you to everyone who was patient enough to keep voting for my blog. Please keep the votes coming in. It is frustrating the website kept crashing but over 2500 votes were cast on the first day – that has to be celebrated!! I can live in the hope they were all for me x PLEASE PLEASE would you vote for this blog and ask your family and friends to too.
The blog is entered into two categories:

http://www.blogawardsuk.co.uk/candidates/Living-the-Dream



Arts & Culture Vote Now

Lifestyle Vote Now







When you have voted you will receive an email confirmation.

REMEMBRANCE DAY


On Armistice Day I went to the service at local village church with Lucas and all his school.  I was immensely proud of them all. They were so impeccably behaved showing great respect for the occasion but it did make me think of all the people that didn’t stop to observe the two minutes silence. TWO MINUTES!! That's all!

At least the council were not empty bins like in John Bishop’s village! It is a sad day when we can’t just give two minutes of our time to pay our respects to selfless people.

Okay I am going to make our evening meal, the boys favourite dish – Beef stew & Dumplings. All that is missing is the snow!!

Have an amazing week in whatever you do. This week I have so much to do and pre-season starts for Wes at Sheffield Eagles Academy. Very exciting times

It's okay to be different -

Be awesome




The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 

FOLLOW ME:

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Lots of love 





Thursday 13 November 2014

2015 first short listing...

Thank you all for your patience this week. We managed to crash the UK Blog Awards website with the sheer volume of votes. The website is back up and running now. To make it easier I thought I would post the vote links here.

The blog is entered into two categories:

http://www.blogawardsuk.co.uk/candidates/Living-the-Dream



Arts & Culture Vote Now

Lifestyle Vote Now







When you have voted you will receive an email confirmation. Please, please vote. It would mean so much to me.


Sunday 9 November 2014

I'm a very lucky lady - broke, dizzy but lucky!!


I had an amazing evening on Thursday at Sant Angelo's in Wetherby. Regular readers will know this is a fabulous Italian restaurant in Wetherby. It was Barry White and soul legends tribute night - music that is right up my street! Lilvinny Robinson has an amazing voice and his fabulous choice of songs brought the lively crowd to their feet. One of my all time favourite songs (and I mean one. I have hundreds of them and will write a blog about some of them soon) is Otis Redding, Sitting on the Dock of the Bay. I don't know why but whenever I hear it, it makes me smile regardless of the mood I am in. Its a singalong song (that comes with an apology of whoever has heard me warbling!) until I get to the whistling section which I can't do - I blame the gaps in my teeth! I was over the moon when Vinnie included this song and his version was incredible. It made my night.

As always, the food, the people and the atmosphere were truly exceptional. I would also like to say a special well done to the new waiters who looked the part and never stopped smiling. It's a tough job pleasing everyone but they lived up to expectations. They made us feel very welcome. Watch out Luigi!! You know you're getting old though when the waiters look so young.

It was a much needed couple of hours break. I drove and didn't drink yet I woke Friday morning with the world's worst hangover - Menieres reminding me it was still there, unfortunately. So I had an enforced rest day on Friday which is particularly frustrating for me. I knew I could catch up over the weekend when Lucas was away at his Dad's house, or so I thought!

You see, this is where single parenting meets career progression with a big, massive, even huge, BANG!  Lucas burnt his hand Saturday evening in an unavoidable accident (pulls a disapproving face!). He came home to Mummy for some much needed first aid and Mummy love. Poor baby, he was in so much pain and I finally settled him at 4am Sunday! Bang went another day. Whilst it's frustrating, the most important job I have is as a Mum. That's my priority. Yes I want to write hundreds of books, build my administration business up, write blogs and throw myself into work but I can't always go full steam ahead. Instead of beating myself up, like I used to, I shrug my shoulders and say, "That's life!" I know in years to come I will have the best of both worlds - two very well adjusted young men who are compassionate, hardworking and honest AND my new career. In the meantime I cherish and nurture both. If people don't like, understand or appreciate that, TOUGH! Being a parent is a privilege not a right!

UK Blog Awards

http://www.blogawardsuk.co.uk/candidates/Living-the-Dream
My blog has been nominated in two categories. You can vote via the links below from Monday the 10th November 2014. I would really appreciate it if you could take the time to vote and ask friends, family and colleagues if they could vote too.

Arts & Culture Vote Now

Lifestyle Vote Now


Beyond the Past


I have no real idea of how well my book is doing but I do know that everyone who has read the whole book has loved it and what's more, they are nagging me for the sequel. All I can say is please be patient. The second novel is fast paced and international. I'm nearly there.

I love being able to travel from Leeds, Lulea, Stockholm, Marbella and London - I hope you will love it

You can read the first three chapter of Beyond the Past FREE on my website



Guest Blog

I am currently working on a guest blog and will post the details here once I have finished it.

Thank You

I am a very lucky lady! Broke, dizzy but lucky. I want to thank everyone who got in touch this week to provide me with such positive feedback about the blog. It blows my mind that I received over 1,000 views last week.


The fact that people are taking time to read it is fabulous - that you like it is a massive bonus xx

The highlights of this week have been helping Lucas with his Guy Fawkes work and the exceptionally lively debate Wes and I had on the way home from Sheffield on Friday night.The topic ? Democracy, Capitalism and communism!! Loved it!

Rugby League Update

We are really looking forward to 2015 and the new rugby league structure. It's complicated but I believe it will help the game grow and now it's beginning to feel real for us too. Wes has a team meeting next Thursday then pre-season training starts. All of us are excited at the prospect of the new exciting chapter in Wesley's life.

Lest We Forget

 

It's all too easy to get bogged down in our own little lives but let us not forget the selfless people who make the ultimate sacrifice to protect the lives we lead. Please spare a thought for all those who lost their lives and those whose lives have been changed forever because they chose to serve their country, regardless of which country, religion or war.

It would be great if we could all live in a world of peace, no war and without judgement of others. I live in hope!



 

It's okay to be different -

Be awesome




The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 

FOLLOW ME:

 Twitter
Facebook
www.pamcharles.com
LinkedIn

Lots of love