Friday, 15 September 2017

Mummy's Boys

It's such an old fashioned, ignorant term that invokes so much anger in me. I have been accused of putting my boys first… YES… shock horror… Mother puts her children first! Like that is a terrible thing! Maybe if some parents had put their children first, they could have taught them how to respect themselves and more importantly, respect everyone in society especially women.

Let me break down my parenting style into very simple terms. I do, very much, consciously, put my boys and their needs first and foremost, over everything. That is my job! I brought them into this world, I am responsible for making them good citizens and I sure as hell am responsible for their physical and mental wellbeing. I am also the best person to teach them how to treat everyone with respect and equality, that starts by ensuring they have the right values for themselves.

People can criticise me all they want… go ahead, have a pop! I look at the boys with immense pride and realise both can listen to understand not just reply; the ability to think critically; the ability to empathise and the ability to treat everyone, including themselves, with respect and equality.

I asked Lucas if he ever felt I favoured Wes over him with him being the youngest and my past experiences. Bless him, he laughed at me, told me not to be so silly and that he loved we were all equal, with equal say over decisions. Job part done!! Let's face it… and I am going to blow my own trumpet here… I have set my boys up to be decent human beings. If that makes them Mummy's boys… I take it and own it. I'll certainly take it over selfish misogynists any day!

Right, now I have that off my chest… I started my PGCE this week and finished my Masters. As usual I am panicking over my Masters result… because that is what I do!! I was going to take a break from studying after my PGCE but I can feel a PhD coming on! Whilst writing and teaching part time. Yes, I really do believe I am super woman now! (That is a joke before you quote me!)

For too long, I lived within the shackles of society – you must do this, you must do that and
you must do it this way or you're a freak. Guess what? I am a freak! I do things my way because I believe in me and my family. If I get it wrong, I own up, change and adapt but never criticise others for choosing a different path. Remember it is YOUR life… live it YOUR way!

One more thing… never stop learning… it scares the hell out of some people!

Have a fabulous weekend. We are coming into autumn – my favourite season!

Much love

Sunday, 10 September 2017

Me vs Meniere’s

Well I thought I had done well the last couple of months with virtually no symptoms other than the persistent tinnitus. Until I visited the White Rose shopping centre that is! Honestly, why they must put speckles or patterns into the flooring is beyond me.

Wes and I went yesterday afternoon to buy a very special gift for an incredibly special man in my life. I was not too worried as I had been so well and life is great now with lots of exciting things to look forward to and hope for our futures.

Within five minutes of being in the centre, my body temperature began to rise. The noise, the lights, the flashes, the patterns on the floor, the people bumping into me, the quick movements to get out of their way all started to become too much. The panic starts to set in. Can I stay on my feet? Can people see me panicking? Am I making a fool of myself? How embarrassing would it be to fall in front of all these people. Would they think I was drunk in the afternoon!!!

I tried to stay calm and focus on why we were there. We stopped for some lunch and relaxed, sitting outside in the sunshine. It was some much-needed son and Mum time as shortly our lives are going to change beyond recognition… for the better! Thankfully, my boys are totally understanding and I usually avoid situations I know are triggers but sometimes life means you can’t avoid them, you have to hit them head on.

We had to go back and collect the gift after lunch. What a relief when I stepped outside knowing I had not succumb to the horrors of Meniere’s. I did, however, need to go home and sleep. The experience had worn me out but I am here to fight another day with my dignity intact… just! I win again!

Most days, I live with this monster, dormant inside me. Even on bad days, I work and keep going but there are some days when it wakes up and just reminds me it is still there!!!
Enjoy your week and stay safe
Much Love