Saturday, 20 December 2014

Peace on Earth… it’s in our hands, isn’t it?

Let’s be perfectly frank and honest here… this week has shown the worst of the world. No one, NOT ONE HUMAN BEING, can EVER justify the killing of an innocent child - or adult for that matter. My broken heart genuinely goes out to everyone affected by the atrocities in Australia and Pakistan. If any good can come out of these horrific events, it should be we all spend time with our children showing them how to become tolerant, dignified, decent human beings. There is too much hatred in this world.

What is wrong with everything? Is peace just too much to expect or wish for?

I don’t know about you but my general feeling of the world at this moment in time is, there are a lot of angry, selfish, nasty people about. You know the ones, they come in different degrees of nastiness and vindictiveness yet seem to be the ones that are too cowardly to actually stand up and be counted in a positive way. Acts of terrorism and sheer brutality grab the media attention but when Wes asked me this week what was wrong with people , after witnessing girls being horrible at his school, it highlighted that it is not just me that is getting really fed up of the degree of hatred and nastiness out there.

Another example was in an author’s forum this week which was discussing bad reviews and one in particular had upset an author, not because their work was criticised per se but the manner in which it was done. Constructive criticism is accepted from anyone who puts themselves out there. Unfortunately there is an alarming and current trend of terrible, abusive and quite frankly unacceptable comments that the keyboard coward (not warrior – warriors are courageous and fight for what they believe in) feels justified in writing online but undoubtedly would not say to the recipient’s face. I find it repulsive as I do when I read comments like ‘I pay for my season ticket, so that entitles me to say what I like to the players.’ OH NO IT DOESN’T! There is no excuse or justification for abuse, online or otherwise.

I know I keep harping back to this but it is about dignity, integrity and common decency. You can be honest without being abusive – may be this is a lesson that has skipped a few generations. The power of the word is even more potent now. Used constructively it is a gift. Used abusively, it is a dagger much more deadly than any made with steel! If I don’t like something that I know someone has put their heart and soul in, I would rather not leave a comment than leave something that would rock their confidence. I have received so much criticism and been labelled a ‘sociopath’ because I believe in giving out praise and positive comments. I guess that’s just me. I have compassion and decency for anyone who is willing to have a go.

Abusers are uneducated and unfulfilled. It is so easy to sit in judgement of anyone that is having a go at forging a life for themselves. A word of warning though – YOUR WORDS won’t stop them succeeding. You may wound them but the hurt recedes. Success comes from being driven, determined and persistent.

I have spent the first forty (plus) years of my life wanting validation, wanting people to love me and accepting ‘false’ love from people I should never have let into my life. Now, I have found my inner peace. I don’t need anyone to accept me for who I am. I don’t need anyone to validate what I am doing and what I am trying to achieve. I look at the boys and how they are all round, grounded individuals and how they are more clued up than most adults and that is my validation of being on this earth! I am happier than now I have ever been and I really don’t get upset anymore at someone else’s opinions – as I wrote last week we all have our own perceptions on life. 

This world would be a much better place if everyone was taught how to tolerate each other’s differences and I live in hope we can achieve that, if we ALL want it badly enough but we have to stand up and be counted. Imagine what we could all achieve if all of us good hearted, warm, talented, tolerant people joined forces and stopped evil from being dominant!

On a more individual level, just remember – it is not what you say, it is how you say it. If we all make that extra special effort to be nice rather than mean and cutting, we can start to make a real difference to the world.

For me, if you don’t like what I am doing, move on.  You are not being forced to read any of my work, my blog or my social media timeline. Leave me in peace and instead of being wound up by my achievements, get yourself out there and make a positive difference. 

To all my fellow human beings trying to make a difference – keep doing what you are doing. You are all forging your own life in your own way and hopefully improving yours and other people’s lives in the process. Maybe, we can all contribute to eradicate the world of misery and evil and bring PEACE.

As I approach maturity (don’t laugh!) I realise what this time of year has become and I don’t like what I see. Christmas as a child is so innocent and magical. As soon as you become an adult, it’s about shopping, presents, food, expense and it is NOT pretty and SO stressful. Christmas has had a total revamp in this household. I sat down with the boys and explained how I felt about the commercial side and the pressure put on us for one day. To my surprise (or maybe not) the boys agreed. So we restricted what we spent, what we bought and what food we have in the house. None of us will be over indulging. Our Christmas this year will be enjoying each other’s company and relaxing. There will be lots of pyjama days and lots of games – playing cards, board games and Xbox games – although I am rubbish at the latter! That is my inner peace. Knowing we have each other and we enjoy being a family.

I want to wish everyone a very special Christmas and a wonderfully exciting 2015. If you are thinking of starting something new – STOP THINKING, GO FOR IT. New Year, new opportunities.

For me, 2015 means writing my third book and learning how to use Final Draft so I can write screenplays and continuing to support the boys in their dreams. I am living MY dream. Thank you to everyone who has supported me this year. Let’s hope we can all find peace in 2015.

The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 



Lots of love 

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