Tuesday, 12 December 2017
The biggest lesson I learned from dealing with bullies and narcissists, was to ensure the boys could always talk about their feelings and tell me if they had any worries, including if I was doing something wrong that was distressing them. I consciously put a full support mechanism in place without them even knowing it. As soon as they could talk, I openly asked them daily how they were feeling, had they any worries, had they had any problems if they were not with me. It became a habit they fell into and part of our automatic routine.
The sweetest thing I ever experienced was Wes coming home from school when Lucas was about two or three years old and Lucas asking Wes if he had any problems today? Did he want to talk about them? So cute but proved the technique was really working. Honestly, my heart almost burst with pride.
Nowadays, we all open and honest with each other… brutal at times! It is something outsiders rarely understand but it works for us and I know the boys will not bottle anything up or suffer in silence like I did. Moreover, they will take this skill onto the next generations of our family. The important lesson for all of us is to watch the words we use with our children. It may seem funny to pick them up if they dropped 1% in a Maths test but to them it could be the difference between self confidence or self-deprecation. These comments have a greater impact than you think.
I am not in line for a parent of the year award but I know the boys are happy! What’s more I don’t care if people fail to understand my parent techniques. It's always interesting that the most criticism comes from those who have not had children and those whose children have grown up with little integrity.
Sounds good, doesn’t it? Yes, I did it. I passed with Distinction. It was, without doubt, the hardest project I have ever embarked upon, but I am so proud of myself and the sense of achievement is immense.
I have several projects on the go but focusing on editing existing work to get it into publishing. Watch this space… now I am back again.
What a pain in the backside!! It has raised its ugly head again! I am struggling to get it under control but, by goodness, I will. I have too much to do to let this monster in.
It is almost Christmas again. I am looking forward to spending time with my precious family.
I started this blog to promote my writing and motivate people who, like me, had their livesIt is time for a revamp for 2018. Lucas has come up with an amazing title and we will be putting it in place for January. You will be able to access the new blog at www.pamcharles.com and select blog. 2018 is full of positivity and lots of exciting new projects.
Have a lovely Christmas and kick ass out of 2018