I am a perfectly imperfect author, Mum to two fabulous boys & Meniere's slave. Changing the world in my own way to make it a better place for everyone.
These are MY opinions. Don't worry if you don't agree. You choose how you interpret the words. Just remember "at the end of a storm, there's a golden sky..." YNWA. Be kind, caring and compassionate.
Shortlisted 2 consecutive years for a UK Blog Award
Saturday, 17 May 2014
Junior Sport or parent's political playing field….
Last Friday we found out to what extent some parents and
coaches are prepared to go to stop a CHILD from playing a sport they have
played since they were six year old AND try to prevent a CHILD from fulfilling
a Scholarship opportunity. To say it backfired on them is an understatement but
it was truly disgraceful behaviour. You don't have to be an expert in the field of child
welfare to know that psychological abuse is as bad, if not worse than
physical abuse. There was a pattern that formed in the abuse we received, always being after a
training night or after a match day. We put up with it because, naively we
thought it would have an adverse affect on the scholarship but they
could not have been any more supportive.
The constant drip fed insults and abuse
was laughable at times but in the end we were forced out of an amateur club
just because my son worked hard enough to get a place at a scholarship. The
scholarship is a development programme and there are NO guarantees that he will
progress to the next level. We know that and we accept that. All the child
wants to do is play rugby league, it IS that SIMPLE.
We’ve taken months of abuse that we have tried to rise
above. We have turned up to training and matches and my son has always given
100% even after being told by his amateur coach and junior secretary that he
wasn’t matching up to their expectations of a scholarship player, whatever
those expectations may have been because they certainly were not articulated!In addition,the previous week, my son prevented a certain club fine by turning ADULTS off the field of play and restraining
the coach, when they tried to intervene in a brawl. Amateur rugby league is supposed to be fun isn't it? Let me make it clear though, the majority of rugby league clubs are fully supportive of the scholarship programme and why wouldn't they be? The common interest is our love of rugby league and the game can only survive and flourish with players who are prepared to put their body on the line week in week out and make personal sacrifices to succeed.
Yet, Friday evening, a couple of hours after I posted a
positive tweet of how great our week had been, we received an email kicking him
out of the club for lack of commitment and not having ‘team spirit’. This is
because the weekend before (yes a full week went by) he had a game with his scholarship on the Saturday,
played half of the first half and all of the second half until he took a knock
to the nose which wouldn’t stop bleeding. He didn’t play the Sunday for the
amateur club because of the injury. However he got out of bed and went to
support the team at an away game. This apparently constitutes not having team
spirit. It is pathetic that this action was taken without a CHILD being given
the right to reply or the chance to represent himself.What made this even worse was it was done
FOUR days before the start of his GCSEs. Thank god he has a positive attitude
to life and I have deflected pressure away from him in preparation for his
exams. I do not exaggerate when I say that this adult behaviour could have
resulted in very tragic circumstances.
I cannot understand any parent being jealous of a sixteen
year old boy who knows his own mind and wants to get on in their life. You can’t
get in and maintain a scholarship place without working hard and showing 100% commitment.
I have a son who is fully committed to everything he does and that work ethic,
I am proud to say, has been passed down.
I still can’t believe after months of trolling me on
twitter, the main culprit in all of this has been able to manipulate people
enough to completely ignore child welfare and disciplinary rules and common
decency. The energy put into this witch
hunt could have been put to so much more worthy causes. Rugby league is a wonderful game and community. The whole
ethics of the game are based around hard work, team work and being the best YOU
can be. Clearly some adults missed those life lessons.
As always, lots of positives have come out of the
despicable, negative behaviour and I want to thank all the local community
clubs that have contacted me in the last week to offer both my boys places in
their clubs. It speaks volumes to me and makes me so proud that people go out
of their way to invite us into their community. Thankfully both boys will be
back playing the game they love shortly. It hasn’t put us off following our
dreams, it’s just made us more determined to succeed.I have also started working on research into young adult welfare and mental wellbeing. Watch this space...
I wanted to highlight this today for two reasons. Firstly,
if anyone else is suffering in silence, in any sport or any part of your life,
please feel free to leave a message or email me via my website www.pamcharles.com. I will help anyone to
NOT go through what we have been through. DON'T SUFFER IN SILENCE!!
Secondly, to eradicate sport of the
juvenile behaviour by ADULTS. One thing I have learnt from Liverpool Mums is to
stand up for my children. Don’t get me wrong, if the boys were in the wrong they
would be told in no uncertain terms. The boundaries of behaviour were set when
they were young, the penalties for crossing those boundaries are clear and they
know the penalties will be enforced. Exactly how it is in sport. However, they
also know they have my unequivocal support when wrong is done to them and know
the importance of fighting for truth and justice.
I ask, no, beg all parents involved in junior sport NOT to
be abusive to anyone whether it be coaches, referees and players, but especially not CHILDREN. Encourage
children to be a part of something brilliant. After all they have got themselves out of bed, prised themselves away from their XBox and are playing a very tough, physical game. Be the shining example for your
child and believe me, positive behaviour is infectious.
All children and young adults have the opportunity to be
what they want to be BUT it isn’t handed to them on a plate. You have to want
it, work for it and be prepared to make lots of sacrifices to get it. As a Mum
it is my job to support, nurture and advise, but NOT pressure them. My son
posted the following to his twitter page when we received the horrible email:
It says it all for me.
Beyond the Past
I am so pleased the book is being received so well. It makes
me so proud. This week I have been continuing to work on marketing of Beyond
the Past and working on the sequel Beyond the Lies.
In addition I am delighted to confirm I have accepted a kind
invitation to be a guest speaker at the Local Education Trust’s inaugural
Literary Festival in July. Full details will follow shortly.
My website includes news and events as well as the first
three chapters of Beyond the Past, FREE. Feel free to pop over to have a look.
I have about eight book outlines now and not enough time to
write them!! I will keep going and never stop. The future is looking really
bright for all of us and I hope you will all take the leap of faith and follow
your own dreams.
Life is too short to let other people’s insecurities stop
you. GO FOR IT!!
Have a fabulous week. Thank you for all your support and
love. Keep it coming, I love it.