Life according to Pam Charles : Learn from the 'Doh!'. Relish the 'Wow!'
Menieres Madness
My illness has been my driving force to my own personal
goals and success. I found a great article this week on Facebook that tries to
explain ‘brain fog’ and how to deal with it. This is the article.
I suffer from brain fog more and more and it is so frustrating. I walk into the
kitchen to put the washing out and end up preparing the night’s tea; I go to
the petrol station to check the tyre pressures and put petrol in and I can’t
tell you what happens when I go to the supermarket!! Needless to say I don’t
come out with what I need unless I have a list. My life is now an ENDLESS
bundle of lists. I cope with brain fog by making lists - appointment times, bills I have to pay and when, shopping, outstanding jobs to do. Inevitably there are times when I forget appointments and to pay bills. I used to beat myself up about these things but now I accept it is a p
One thing that does strike me though is my ability to
remember the research and learning that I do and I genuinely believe this is
what has saved me from going completely insane (I know I am partly insane – it helps
to get through life!). Focusing on research work and reading has helped me overcome
some of the dark days. No one close to me understands this invisible illness. I
have had to find my own way of dealing with this. I think I have and my next
big adventure of studying for a PhD will, not only enhance my career prospects
once the boys can take care of themselves but it will also help me concentrate
on a goal that in turn will take away the Menieres madness.
There is always an overwhelming pull for us all to be like
someone else – you should dress this way, you should look that way, you should
be this, you should be that!! WHY? My life became much more peaceful when I
decided to be ME. I am not here to impress anyone, I’m here to leave my mark on
the world whether it be within the boys or my own work. That is how I live my
life. Some people don’t like that but do you know? I DON’T CARE.
I am probably in a minority to say (like on so many aspects
of life I suppose) I am fascinated by the election campaign. It is so interesting
watching the media so blatantly biased towards the right. It has always been
present but it appears to be more blatant than ever. What angers me though is
the blatant smear campaigns. Quite clearly Nicola Sturgeon is a threat to the
right wing and so instead of having a clean fight, they try to smear her with a
‘leaked’ memo. Who are they trying to kid? Really?
My view is simple: a system that only rewards the top 1% of
a population, is not a system of Government, it is a tyranny. Whether we like
it or not, Governments are elected and we have our say in that. If we don’t
vote (and that’s what they hope for) we don’t have our say. It frustrates me
when women in public services say they are going to spoil their ballot paper.
Really? What does that achieve? Stand up and be counted – that is what life is
about, isn’t it? People ask me who they should vote for. That’s none of my
business. I vote for my beliefs. If you share my beliefs you will do the same, if not you follow your own instincts.
Just, please don’t moan and not participate. I think if you follow me on social media, it is pretty clear which side I fall on.
PhD Study
I have spent most of last week researching and putting
together my PhD Proposal. I am so much more alive when I have a book in my hand
whether it be fiction or fact. I do hope I can secure funding as this study already
means so much to me.
Writing
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0
I have had a lot of enquiries this week asking me the best way to start out and market written work. I don’t like giving generic advice as I am always aware that what works for one does not necessarily work for another. I am, however happy to share and discuss my experiences so far.
Firstly, can I just say that in spite of endless hours of
research, of working on understanding the publishing industry, I am still
astonished at the number of sharks out there that are prepared to lie, cheat
and steal to make money! If I was Prime Minister I would definitely look into
regulating the book industry. I thought I went into this with my eyes wide open
and was still duped. A definite ‘DOH!’ moment. To counter balance this
though, there have been lots of ‘WOW!’ moments and in a future blog post I will
share all of those with you.
Anyway, my point is – be careful out there. Whatever you
do, watch for fake people and fake promises. Don’t depart with your hard earned
cash until you are 100% convinced you will not be fleeced – I was 99.5% sure and it still happened.
I wrote Beyond the Past without even thinking about how I
was going to market it or even how I was going to get it into print. I JUST
wanted to write! It was only when the work was finished and I became single
again, I thought I would test the water and give it a go.
My steps to being published:
- I wrote and edited the book
- I gave my sister the task of reading and editing the book. She did a grand job.
- Researched the market – Literary Agents; Publishers; Self-publishing options
- Researched the dos and don’ts of publishing!!
- Researched the other options of websites such as Authonomy.
- Wrote a synopsis and cover letter, the latter was a nightmare!
- Picked out a batch of Literary Agents and pitched my book to them. It was totally demoralising getting no response. A ‘no’ was better than nothing as nothing to an eternal optimist means ‘maybe’.
- I received one constructive response and I am eternally grateful to that Agent who gave me pointers on how to improve my pitch and the story. He would have taken it on but his employer didn’t like NEW writers.
- I took on board his comments and made changes. Chapter three became Chapter One.
- I did a full edit again
- Sent out a further hundred or so requests and nothing!
This approach clearly was not working. I almost gave up.
You know, it is hard desperately trying to overcome an illness, look after two
boys alone and still keep faith in yourself. I had some very dark days during
that time. I didn’t want to give up!! I knew I could do something to leave my
mark in the world beyond being a great Mum.
I had a ‘WOW!’ moment one morning driving home from the
school run. I remembered when I was fifteen I read Ingrid Bergman’s biography.
When she went to her first audition, she was knew she had to stand out from the
crowd. At the audition she jumped on the staged, startled the judges and left.
She got the part.
My changed approach
- I set up my own website – after all I had just graduated with a first class honours degree in computing
- Set up my own social media sites and started connecting with fellow authors, publishers and agents.
- Attended local networking groups
- Started this blog
- Started writing guest blogs and articles.
- Contacted local press
- Made a conscious decision to make my blog personal so people could learn who I was as an artist and human being
- I started to build my own audience and it worked
- Paid for advertising that didn’t work – Doh!
I threw caution to the wind!!!
I started telling people what I had done. It is not the English way at all but
I adopted it nevertheless. I remember reading somewhere that if you believe in
yourself, others will too. So that is what I did. The positivity, the ‘Wow’
from people far outweighs the negativity. The ‘Dohs!’ definitely don’t have
it.
After eighteen months of hard labour, I managed to have my
book published.
MY ADVICE : PROMOTE YOURSELF
I did all this for one thing – to provide for my
family. I do not regret in anyway having a go. I would have regretted not having
a go. I am the first to admit my writing has improved ten-fold
from Beyond the Past and if I was writing my debut novel now, I would do things
very differently indeed. Personally, I
think I have done remarkably well in the last two years to stay sane (well not
become any more insane), learn many new skills, learn a completely new
industry, raise two fabulous boys alone, fight off a progressive illness AND
define who I am as an individual in a world that does constantly want to change
you. Just had a ‘Wow’ moment then, when I was taken
back to David Cassidy singing ‘How Can I Be Sure?’.
People
may scoff and scorn but let them. You’re moving forwards, are they? Never be
afraid to step out of your comfort zone because then the ‘Doh!’ moments are
dwarfed by those amazing ‘Wow’ moments.
It’s funny how I sat down with a little seed of an idea and it has turned into this blog – LIFE IS FOR LIVING, with or without Menieres. Whatever you do this week - do it with passion, perseverance and a huge smile on your face.
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