Monday, 29 May 2017

Meniere’s… the Teacher

Meniere’s has taught me so much and completely transformed my life… for the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

It lured me into a false sense of security, made me believe in some miracle cure... then wham… it struck! It’s like a volcano – lays dormant until it chooses to waken… then strikes with ferocity and anger, the eruption coming anytime, anywhere and usually when you least expect it or want it!

A month on from my recent drop attack, I still feel like crap. It’s, once again, stripped me of all my self-confidence and if I didn’t force myself to leave the house, I would become a total recluse – not a bad idea when it’s not forced upon you!

I ventured into University for a meeting with my Master’s supervisors. The feeling of the sun on my face was amazing but the speckles glistening on the floor of the food hall made me feel I was back on that ship in a force ten gale. It’s horrifying to feel the rug being pulled from under you! The meeting was good apart from sitting there trying to hide the swaying and sickness feeling whilst speaking coherently.

No matter how much Meniere’s thinks it is winning, life must still go on. I have caught up on my Masters works mainly by typing with my eyes shut and working at 3am when I could not sleep. I’ve done it… all five of them and three presentations. Are they perfect? NO! One, in particular, is well below par. Realistically, I’ve downgraded my target of distinctions across the board to a merit overall. A pass is a pass – sometimes only a compromise will work! It’s not okay as I wanted to hit my target but what can I say? I’m a fighter!

I now have three months to work on my final dissertation and thankfully, I have some of the work already done. I feel I’ve overcome the hardest part of the Masters – it is not the reading, research or writing – the hardest challenge was being able to meet the very tight deadlines! Again, I have found limitations in my capabilities - live and learn!

For the last three days, I’ve had an eye infection – a by-product of the fluid I think. I’ve finally, after a thirteen-year fight, been given a date for a CT scan. We can finally see what is going on in my head – I pity the doctor who should see that!!


My Masters dissertation covers a subject close to my heart – computer science in schools. I think our children are being short changed by our education system particularly in secondary schools. I would like to develop this further in a PhD which will start in 2018. Between now and then, after my MSc IT, I am going to doing a PGCE – teaching course in Computer Science. I have my interview on election day! Wish me luck!


I am still writing… well…typing…with my eyes shut. All I can say is thank goodness for grammar and spell check. Some of the spellings are very funny indeed.  I have looked at voice recognition software which I may invest in later.

My latest project is to find a literary agent. It’s blooming tough. Believe me, writing 100,000+ words are the easy part!


How can we solve the problems if we can’t have a grown-up debate about them? However uncomfortable the subject, in a democracy, we must be able to discuss issues openly. Terrorism IS a by-product of disputes and wars. That fact does not detract from the evil of perpetrators or the suffering of the victims. It means we can start to look at ALL these issues and look at how best we stop atrocities from happening.

In protecting its citizens, the Government should look at ALL aspects of evil including turning the spotlight on themselves. The nasty Tory rhetoric of xenophobia fuels hatred and must stop as well as their collusion with States who fund terrorism. Someone is paying for the equipment, the training – who? Why? How? It is common sense and Jeremy Corbyn is absolutely right but then he has been on the right side of wrong decisions over the last 30 years. He has earned his right to be listened to and is a true principled statesman. Everyone deserves peace!

Last Tuesday in Manchester was horrific and I find it hard to put into words how sickening it was. My heart felt love goes out to everyone affected. This includes our amazing emergency teams – doctors, nurses, paramedics, police, armed forces, firemen. We all take them for granted. People don’t join our emergency services for the money (what money??). They join because they possess one of our true British values – they want to help other people. They deserve, not just our respect but our backing and they deserve to be given the tools for them to do their jobs effectively. Please vote Labour on the 8th June and give our amazing emergency services what they need and truly deserve.

Life is so precious! Celebrate it! Live it!

Much love

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