Monday, 3 August 2015

Don't be a dream snatcher

I’m going through a period of being angry with myself. Angry that at the age of fifteen I didn’t know what I know now. I know it sounds ridiculous but it is how I feel. I let others talk me out of what I wanted to do and wanted to be. If only I had been as strong back then as I am today. 

I have just finished writing, editing and preparing my first ever script for television. I am incredibly proud of the work. I realise now that, whatever I had wanted to do back then, it would have been wrong. Not because it was the wrong choice but because it was me. I never understood why the backing was not there. I do now and know I couldn’t have changed anything other than not being weak and showing the resolve I have shown in the last few years to overcome some very high obstacles. Some lessons can only be learned the hard way.

That feeling of being unsupported follows you into adulthood- trust me it does! I loved my husband and was with him for sixteen year. I admit I was with him for the wrong reasons, he was my way out not my future.  For years I thought there was something wrong with ME. Actually, there was. I was listening to other people too much and not listening to ME. It has taken me until the age of forty seven to realise what has happened and I could have landed on the moon and it would not have made a blind bit of difference to how I was treated by people. Haters are going to hate! Even now when I hit a massive achievement or we celebrate the boy’s work, there is always someone there to ‘insult’ or ‘belittle’ us. It stings but not as much now because Wes can see it too so I am not imagining it. I simply say to myself, ‘there it goes, dodge the knife.’

This is why I support the boys 100%. I am their mother. There are enough haters in the world driven by jealousy, ignorance or both. If I can’t give unequivocal support in this mean, cruel world then there is no hope at all. I am their safety net…their bank…their taxi. BUT… not their DREAM SNATCHER. I know lots of people say you mustn’t let children dream because it damages expectation and confidence when they don’t achieve it. What a load of B*******. Sorry, but it is. That is why there is little aspiration in so many young people. I detest seeing adults knocking young people’s confidence and hope. What’s wrong with you? Are you scared your children will be more successful than you? Or scared your least favourite will actually surpass your favourite?

As parents, we don’t have the right to stop our children from dreaming and believing they can achieve what we think could be or should be impossible for them. That is how humans surpass expectations. BY TRYING. What if all the fabulous Nobel peace prize winner’s parents had suppressed their children? Why shouldn’t every child have a go at being the one that succeeds against all the odds? 

The only difference between children from lower income families than wealthier families are the outlook of hope, perseverance, opportunities and confidence to believe in themselves. Taking away hope means they don’t persevere to reach those opportunities and that in turn lowers their self -confidence and expectations. One misplaced comment or a barrage of psychological abuse can kill off hope and start a negative spiral. Just ONE!!

Don’t discourage their dreams. Instead, educate them. Tell them what they need to do to achieve their dreams. Research it if you don’t have the answers, help them put together to achieve their goals. They will follow it or decide it’s not for them BUT it is their choice.

Contrary to popular belief, my boys have chosen their own paths in life. Neither have been under any pressure to pursue particular routes. Wes was in the Huddersfield Town football academy at the age of six. I asked the insurance brokerage I was working for at that time, if I could finish one hour early on a Monday evening to get over to Huddersfield via the dreaded M62. I had to fight and almost lost my job over 1 hour in spite of working 12/14 unpaid hours extra a week. The boss’ PA told me months later he objected to MY son being picked to play football. HOW PATHETIC. 

Anyway, Wes was in the academy for about nine months when he discovered rugby league.  He was adamant at such a young age that he was going to be a rugby player. So we sat down and discussed what he would need to do to achieve his dreams. I told him he had 100% support providing in return he worked hard at school and did his best. Bless him, he has worked so hard. Now we are visiting universities in between training three times a week, four in August and playing. Last Friday, he came home from training absolutely buzzing. It was an incredibly tough session but in his words, ‘the tougher the better’. He loves a challenge. The tougher the session, the greater the satisfaction, the bigger the smile! THAT is what dreams are made of.

Lucas is now embarking on the same exciting journey in cricket. It is the glint in his eye that gives it away. I’ve seen that look before and I couldn’t be prouder.

Don’t discourage your children. Give them hope, confidence and opportunities. We have been to hell and back, due to people being hell bent on stopping us fulfilling our dreams. Guess what? We are still here and we still have our dreams. We are still SMILING!

Streetwise

My screenplay is done and off to a selected production company this week. I don’t agree with mass flooding of the market, plus it costs a blooming fortune! From my experience with my first novel, I am going to take my time and choose what is right for me. Let’s hope the company love the concept and the characters as much as I do. I have really enjoyed working on this project and can very well see a sequel coming… if successful of course!





Next Projects

I have so many ideas and projects to work on. In the next few weeks, I am picking up Beyond the Lies again. The first draft was written a while ago but I didn’t like it, not all of it but some aspects of it. You see, I wrote what I thought people would want to see BUT that is not me. So I’m re-writing and staying true to me. I’m not afraid to reprimand myself and start again – that comes with age I think.

Then it is definitely onto to script writing again. This, I think will turn out to be my niche. I love it and if you love your job, you’ll never face a hard day at work again even when you work hard!

Beyond the Past





Have you had the chance to read it yet? Would you like to review it for me?

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0 

I can write anywhere - yesterday was in my garden. Today I am writing this in the car park of Sport Sheffield! Wes is attending a full day training with Sheffield Eagles. People say to me you give up so much of your time for your boys. No I don’t. I spend time with my boys doing things that make us ALL happy. It’s cold on touchlines and sometimes very painful but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. When they fulfil their dreams, my legacy will be their success and happiness even if they change course one thousand times until they find what is right for them. Where there is a will there is a way. 

Personally, I love the flexibility of writing but most of all, I love the creativity.
Thank you for reading my posts. It does mean a lot. Writing it is very therapeutic.

Keep HOPE in your heart and have a great week.











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