Monday, 29 August 2016
Ctrl, Alt, Del…reset.
Do you ever just sit back and think "Wow! I did that!" No? Well…you should. I say that tongue in cheek because, until this month, I haven't. You can get so wrapped up in surviving, deflecting criticism, following your dreams, helping your children follow theirs and listening to negativity, that you forget to look at your achievements so far. Remember, nothing is absolute. At any point in your life, you can press control, alt and delete and basically reset your life. Sure, some things you can wipe out but you can move forward and re- configure your life. All you need is will power, faith and hard work.
People's negativity towards your life and your choices is as a result of their ignorance and their perception of what a 'perfect life' is. Let's be straight here – A PERFECT LIFE IS NON-EXISTENT!
Life, for me, boils down this… it is YOUR LIFE, YOUR CHOICE, YOUR CHANCE. No one has the right to tell you, you can't succeed – you can! No one gets an easy life (unless you're a Royal of course). You have to work hard and you have to accept there will be bumps, or huge mountains in your way. You can choose to ride over them or around them but don’t choose to give up. This is where I am now in my life. I have wasted too much time thinking or being told I wasn't worthy or clever enough. Honestly, it's an absolute load of rubbish!! Some people will not want you to succeed, they don't want you to achieve what they themselves don't dare to try for. Let's face it, I could land on the moon, invent life-saving equipment or a discover a vaccine and yet some will still despise me or criticise me. I say ignore them and go for it! Follow what makes you happy.
I know my faults and I know my limitations. I choose to exceed those limitations and right some of my faults. The only true support I have had during this time has been from the boys and my very close circle of friends. The circle has contracted even more recently and I could not be happier. Those doubters, obstacles and mountains have been removed! I have no ambitions or inclinations to surround myself with dozens of people pretending to support me. I'm far too busy creating the next chapters in our lives to deal with silly drama. I have set my new goals for the next six months. It's very exciting.
Spending time with the boys and Erin over the summer holidays, has reinforced the importance of genuine family time, precious time with people who make me smile and who create a natural, happy environment. When you strip back the artificial stresses imposed by external forces, you really see the beauty of the people around you and the beauty in yourself.
We've had the best summer ever, with a short break down to Morfar Bychan in Wales (one of my favourite places - you can see why).
Lucas reached a milestone of ten - TEN! Where did the time go. It poured it down all day but we still had a barbecue and the boys played in the paddling pool in the rain. Seeing the smiles on their faces was truly priceless.
Wes achieved his place on the course of his choice at University and is ready, and excited, to start a new chapter in his life.
Yes, I sit back and look at what I created and nurtured. I am truly blessed and love my little, imperfect family.
I have struggled to find words recently but I'm back – can you tell? I have a strong feeling my hands are going to struggle to keep up with my brain. It's not a bad position to be in. I have so many new ideas and projects to complete – one glorious step at a time.
Over the next few weeks, I am preparing to study a Masters in Information Technology. I couldn't secure funding for the PhD this year but I haven't given up! Where there is a will, there is a way.
Right, I'm off to enter my screenplay into a few competitions. You never know your luck! Have a fabulous week. I can’t believe we only have one week left before the school term starts. I am going to miss having little legs at home even though I can go for hours before seeing him emerge from his little den. Still, he is happy and his mental well being is vital for his future growth. The only time I do see him is for food and to escort him in his search for Pokemon!! I love it really.
Enjoy your week x