Monday, 5 September 2016

Time is too precious…

I had so much planned for today but Meniere's has raised its ugly head. My head is full, my thoughts stuck within the brain fog and I can hear both my own pulse and footsteps reverberating through my ear drums. It is really off putting when you are trying to concentrate and hear what people have to say. Still, at least I am on my feet and not confined to bed. I won't apologise for this post if its seems unorganised – welcome to my world on a day like today.

John Lennon had a huge influence on my early life. I loved his music, his love he shared with Yoko and spent so much time researching his childhood and life in Liverpool. I was devastated when he was killed but one line always sticks in my mind the most, especially when I think of my children. It's from a song on his last album, Double Fantasy, called Beautiful boy (Darling Boy) – written for Sean, his son.

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Meniere's and life have taught us we don't want to be too busy making other plans. Yes, we have goals and dreams but too much time can be wasted thinking and contemplating those goals and dreams. I used to be guilty of it.

Wes said to me recently that Meniere's has enabled us to make the good days count more and he is absolutely right. Too much of our short time on this earth is thinking of our past, what went wrong and of the future – what could be. We, as a family have decided to focus on the present. We intend to enjoy all that we have now and this is NOT financial – as any writer will tell you. 

Life will throw curveballs, smacking you straight in the face when you least expect it! Most of them come from events and circumstances out of your control. Unfortunately, that is life. It's how you heal, learn and rebuild that counts. 

We've made a conscious decision to stand strong as a family regardless of what is thrown at us. We intend to make the most of all our precious time together and apart. This clearly shone through in, what has been, the best summer holiday we have ever had. We didn't have much money (that's an understatement). We had something more precious - time together. As a family, we hate shopping and sitting in pubs and restaurants. Give us a picnic and a wide open field, with or without goal posts and we'll spend hours enjoying each other's company and having fun. Alternatively, give us a pyjama day, playing board games, eating and drinking home cooked foods and we'd be just as happy. 

Our family trip to Wales in August was so relaxing yet we did every conceivable activity – archery, golf, bike hire and the beach every day. Everyone mucked in and we all thoroughly enjoyed our precious time together. More is to come.

My dreams are still achievable but my focus is different – how it should be and how it was intended to be without me putting unnecessary pressure on myself to the detriment of my health and our family time. We are stronger than ever as a family and the boys are included in every major decision made. I value their input and I know they value being consulted. It's the way we are, it works well and I don’t care if people don't understand or like it!

It's the same with people who don’t understand Meniere's, basically 90% of the population. Whilst I will continue to raise awareness of this invisible monster, I won't justify the way I live my life. A valuable lesson from Meniere's is some people will use your differences as a stick to beat you with. Thankfully, it is a lesson I have taught both boys and armed them with education, which is a potent anti-dote to ignorance. My advice – BE DIFFERENT! BE YOU!

As well as starting my Masters, I have the opportunity to start a 26 weeks evening class in a language. After family consultation, my first choice is Portuguese followed by Italian – it is all part of our master plan. I don't know who is more excited – me or Lucas!



When Meniere's happened, I did go into a few years of utter panic along with depression. As a single Mum, it is daunting to lose your only source of income, have the responsibility of young children, try to deal with daily symptoms and having no one around you who understands what you are going through. No one can understand the downward spiral until you have been in the position yourself. Now I can help others going through the same turmoil.

Over the last twelve months, I have calmed down. I'm much more relaxed, partly because it helps reduce the symptoms and partly due to the reality of going with the flow more. This is reflected in my writing. When I wrote my first book, I went at it at 100 mph! I was desperate to earn money and prove this monster was not going to beat me!

It's silly now looking back but at the time, I needed to do it as part of the acceptance process. Now I plan more, write more and edit more. I also research more and spend more time reading about the craft of writing. It takes time to adjust and come to terms with major life changing decisions.  I'm a much better writer and person for all the struggle I have been through.


Beyond the Past

Have you had the chance to read it yet? Would you like to review it for me?
Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0

Beyond the Lies

I am re-writing the ending - I think being able to self assess your work and listening to your reading helper makes you a much better writer. This ending is explosive stuff. 


The Nanny


I have a number of new ideas that are formulating from our summer holiday. 

Although the schools have gone back and I am missing my partner in crime, I love this time of year – the low sun, the changing of the colours and the anticipation of the exciting things we have coming up. My life is worlds away from what it was… it is much more exciting, peaceful and fulfilling than it has ever been even when I was an Associate Director with a big fat pay check and company car. Some things in life, like time and family, are truly priceless.

Whatever you do in life - treasure TIME - it is very precious.

Much love.

P.S. I've been reading lots of news reports from around the world recently discussing the UK's problem of xenophobia since the EU referendum. Let me say it started before the referendum by our MPs who used a disgusting islamaphobic campaign in the Mayoral elections in London. To all my friends, new and old across the world, these despicable opinions are not shared by all us decent Brits. I have fought all my life for equality and tolerance. I wanted to stay in the EU, I still wanted to be part of a caring and tolerant, but more importantly, EQUAL world. Love to all.

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